[Weddings are a significant event for anyone, but in Indian
culture, of course, they take on a heightened level of importance. Parents
often shop for their daughters’ trousseau from the time they are born, and
spend a sizable chunk of their life savings on the celebration. It’s not a
marriage between two people, but between two families, which can mean
complicated juggling of the expectations and traditions of both.]
By Shivani Vora
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When I got married almost 10 years ago, it was my parents
and I who orchestrated the week-long affair, a “medium-sized” Indian affair
spread over various venues in Manhattan and New Jersey, involving more than 450
guests from as a far away as Hong Kong, New Delhi and Germany.
The year of tension-filled planning it took to put it
together was punctuated with heated arguments and littered with to-do lists
that never seemed to get finished. I tried reaching out to several well-known
Manhattan wedding planners located in the Upper East Side, Chelsea and the West
Village for help and quickly realized that I was better off on my own.
One planner, for example, assured me that she was
well-versed with Hindu weddings and then proceeded to suggest that beef curry
would make an ideal entrée choice. When I explained to another that it was
customary that the bride and groom touch the priest’s and parents feet after
the ceremony, she commented that it sounded like a demeaning ritual and asked
if it was really necessary.
Luckily, Indian brides and grooms will fare much better
today if they need professional help — in the past several years, a cottage
industry of wedding planners specializing in Indian affairs has sprung up
around the country. Some are freelance planners working out of their homes,
others are full-blown companies with multiple staff. Some are not even Indian,
others, such as the Washington D.C.-based Working Brides, plan Western and
South Asian weddings but usually have an Indian planner handling the Indian
side.
One of big-ticket Indian wedding specialists in New York
City is Sonal J. Shah Event Consultants. Like all of the planners interviewed
for this article, Ms. Shah started her business after seeing the need in the
wedding market for a professional who was adept with Indian culture.
Eventually, word spread about her services, and today, she
plans 30 weddings a year around the country and in international destinations
such as Bali and the Cayman Islands. She charges $10,000 to $25,000 per
wedding, depending on her level of involvement and has a full-time staff of
three, plus 10 interns and freelance planners to help her for larger affairs.
The average wedding she plans costs between $100,000 and $200,000, she said,
although a few stretch to the half-million dollar mark.
Courtesy of Sonal ShahA canopy decorated with flowers and
draped with colorful fabric, part of the décor at Rachna Krishan and Jordan
Newmark’s wedding, in Ritz-Carlton, California.
Couples who hire her are usually busy professionals with
time constraints, she said. Rachna Krishan, 32, and Jordan Newmark, 30, for
example, looked to Ms. Shah to oversee their wedding last May at the
Ritz-Carlton in Half Moon Bay, California. Both are doctors working long hours
and say that hiring a planner was a necessity.
“I was the pseudo planner for my brother’s wedding and had
to take time off work to do everything for it and was exhausted,” Ms. Krishan
said. When it was her turn to get married, her parents were very receptive to
hiring outside help, especially given her work schedule.
Besides sourcing and managing vendors in California, and
incorporating Mr. Newmark’s Jewish traditions, such as the couple stepping on a
glass at the end of the ceremony for good luck, Shah acted as a buffer between
Ms. Krishan and her father. “My dad was the one paying for everything and when
we disagreed on how much to spend on certain things, Sonal helped us mitigate
over conference calls,” Ms. Krishan said.
Ms. Shah charged $15,000 for her help, which the couple say
was money well spent. “You can’t put a price on enjoying your wedding day and
not getting caught up in logistical details,” Mr. Newmark said.
Having a good time at their own party was also a top
priority for New York City-based couple Anita Gupta, 30, who works in
real-estate, and Krishnan Padmananbhan, 32, who is a lawyer. “It might be
Western to think that the bride and groom should be able to have fun at their
wedding, but it was really important to us,” said Ms. Gupta.
The couple wed last May at the Ritz-Carlton in Grand Cayman
and hired Preeti Shah [no relation to Sonal] for help.
Ms. Shah, 35, owns Spotlight Style, which is also based in
New York City, and has planned weddings for celebrities including Jets football
player D’Brickshaw Ferguson before she entered the Indian market. She charges
$20,000 to $50,000 to help couples with their dream day.
Ms. Gupta says that spending the money to hire Ms. Shah was
crucial for a stress-free experience. Besides taking charge of every detail and
handling minor quibbles she had with her father along the way, Ms. Shah also
understood Indian culture. Ms. Gupta recalls one guest becoming enraged when a
server at the wedding dinner told her that they had run out of the vegetarian
option. “Only an Indian wedding planner would understand the gravity of not
having a veggie meal available to a guest and work fast to fix it,” she said.
Courtesy of Preeti Shah/1000 Words StudiosThe décor at
a reception organized by wedding planner Preeti Shah at Cipriani Downtown, New
York City in 2011.
Courtesy of Sonal ShahBridegroom Jeremy Thaden rides a horse
on his wedding day in the traditional Indian way. Mr. Thaden married
Mansi Kanuga in 2011, they hired Sonal J. Shah Event Consultants to plan their wedding.
Part of Wall Street was shut down for the baraat (the
groom’s party) who danced their way past the Stock Exchange with the groom
riding on a white horse. The 100 out of town guests were put up at the Carlton
Hotel on the Upper East Side, and the bride’s parents not only paid for
incidentals such as laundry and in-room movies but also rented out two
penthouse suites which were staffed with chefs 24 hours a day.
“If you wanted masala chai at three in the morning, a chef
was there to make you a fresh mug,” Ms. Shah said.
More Indians in the U.S. might be hiring professionals like
Ms. Shah, but my parents still aren’t one of them. I suggested to my mother
that we call on some reinforcements when it comes to planning my sister’s
wedding. Clearly having forgotten her stress levels from a decade ago, she
jumped on me. “What do we need to hire a planner for,” she asked. “We did
ourselves before, and we can do it ourselves again, but even better this time
around.”
